Have you ever been in an argument with somebody and no matter what point you make, no matter how logical and reasonable you’re being, they just will not hear it? You know you’re making a rational statement, if they were to stop arguing or being so emotional that they would understand! In this article, we will explore how bilateral stimulation will help!
What is Bilateral Stimulation
Bilateral Stimulation is the use of alternating right and left stimulation. An activity such as tapping your toes or feet on the floor is bilateral stimulation. Bilateral stimulation is used to activate and integrate information from the brain’s two hemispheres.
Why Do We Need to Regulate Emotions?
Children and adults alike can have a hard time regulating their emotions. When we are being “so emotional”, we are actually dysregulated. Dysregulation triggers a flight or fight response. In other words, your survival instincts kick in.
Everyone has two sides to their brain, the left side, and the right side. The right side controls your emotional response. The left side controls your ability to logic. When your survival instincts kick in, those two sides cannot work at the same time. In other words, your emotions take over and logic goes out the window. We need them to work together.
How Bilateral Stimulation Gets them to Work Together
The good news- your brain knows how to regulate naturally. When we go into REM sleep our brains are actually processing things from the left side to the right side and vice versa. That’s why your eyes move back and forth in your sleep. That is bilateral stimulation. To get a person to calm down, have them do bilateral stimulation for themselves.
Bilateral Stimulation Techniques
The Butterfly Hug
I do this with my five-year-old, Monika. I say “give yourself a hug” or “do your butterflies.” Need more information on the butterfly technique? This article does a great job of explaining the butterfly hug, but basically, you cross your hands across your chest (as if you were about to go down a water slide) and you tap your fingers. Alternate hands, left, right, left, right. You get the point.
If does have to be so conspicuous, Bilateral stimulation can work in a variety of ways. Any activity that helps you focus your energy and makes you go from left to right. You could tap your feet or your hands on a table.
Bilateral stimulation will help the brain calm down and regulate. The two sides of the brain will integrate and work together. Once that has happened, the person will be able to access the logical side of their brain.
If you cannot get that person to calm down no matter what you say or do, they not going to be able to think logically.
Other Techniques
Obviously, you can’t tell another adult to “hug themselves” but you can try to “trick” them into it. When you build rapport with someone, they will often mimic what you do. Start tapping on the table or tapping your feet and often the other person will copy you. You can also invite them to play a sport, an instrument or even with a slinky.
The Take Away
If you can’t get them to regulate their emotions effectively, you need to table the conversation. Take a break for 5 minutes before your revisit. Otherwise, the argument is just going to escalate and nobody’s going to get what they want.
Bilateral stimulation is anything that uses both sides of your body so as long as you cross the midline it’ll work, be creative. Read this post to see how a mind map is a form of bilateral stimulation.
